Poor Behavior #3: Pitting People Against Each Other
Continuing the Dirty Dozen list of 12 behaviors that cause conflict at work and then are attributed to the catchall phrase, “personality clashes”, I’m adding: #3 Pitting People Against Each Other...
View ArticlePoor Behavior #4: Over-Reacting
Continuing the Dirty Dozen list of 12 behaviors that cause conflict at work and then are attributed to the catchall phrase, “personality clashes”, let’s yell #4 from the rooftops! #4: Over-Reacting...
View ArticlePoor Behavior #5: Being Dismissive
Don’t you find it frustrating when you have an idea that you’re dying to share and after getting out only a few words someone cuts you off or moves on to the next person? Yeah, me too; and that’s just...
View ArticlePoor Behavior #6: Giving Vague Instructions
We’re halfway through our list of a Dozen Dirty Behaviors that cause problems at work with #6; giving vauge instructions. What do you think your boss means when she gives you an assignment and then...
View ArticlePoor Behavior #7: Rushing in to Fix Things
Rushing in with a super-hero cape and special powers to fix whatever is ailing a project could result in the wrong problem being fixed while the real issue is tied to the railroad tracks with a steam...
View ArticlePoor Behavior #8: Talking More than You Listen
I say, “Blah, blah, blah”, you say, “Blah, blah, blah”, nothing connects and then we’re both frustrated. #8 in our list of a dozen dirty behaviors that cause conflict at work is talking more than you...
View ArticlePoor Behavior #9: Rescuing
Do you work with someone whose shortcomings tug at your heart strings? Taking on the role of caregiver every now and then isn’t a bad thing; like helping a new employee find his way or mentoring...
View ArticlePoor Behavior #10: Being Uncomfortable with Change
Change almost always brings fear. When a shift from the normal is announced, many employees can become hyper anxious as they wonder what creepy crawly things await them. Others rage. And, then there...
View ArticlePoor Behavior #11: Having Unrealistic Expectations
Impracticable approaches to projects and tasks have certainly been the topic of many a gripe session between employees. The conversation often begins with one of them busting out with, “He’s never...
View ArticlePoor Behavior #12: Lack of Openness or Honesty
When people don’t know what’s happening they often get a movie going in their head that helps them explain the situation. The film versions they conjure up are rarely romantic comedies; rather, most...
View ArticleRegrets
When it comes to conflict we probably share some regrets. Regret for the things we said, regret for the things we didn’t say, and certainly regret for more than our share of poor reactions. I saw...
View ArticleI have a great idea!!
Suddenly it comes to you; that great idea that solves a tough problem or helps the company move to the next level, or just make everyone’s job a little easier. Your thought is innovative,...
View ArticleNaughty or Nice Meter
Santa has mad skills when it comes to deciding who’s naughty or nice, but I’ve been wondering lately how the rest of us determine such things. After listening to loads of people both in and out of...
View ArticleGetting Past the Awkward Stage
Whether it’s a neighbor, a new PTA member, or a coworker, sometimes we just don’t know how to get beyond awkward interactions with certain individuals. It’s not so much that there’s a full-blown...
View ArticleTaking a Commercial Break
Sometimes you just have to admit that what you’re doing is obvious. This is one of those times. Here’s a blatant plug for two new products my partner and I just launched at www.anytimeseminars.com....
View ArticleWhat Your Boss Really Wants
Everyone knows that employers don’t appreciate disgruntled, whiny employees, right? But does the average person know how the organization does want them to behave? Should one suck up, agree with...
View ArticleThe Body Politic
I haven’t written a blog post in a very long time and decided with the political season in full swing I was itching to say something. But, I admit I was worried about how to share my opinion without...
View ArticleActions Don’t Really Speak Louder Than Words
There’s an old saying that actions speak louder than words; and I try to live by that adage most of the time. In reality, though, it can be a pretty lousy way to communicate; especially when I expect...
View ArticleThe Hollywood Approach
The movie, Argo, recounts events that took place during the Iran hostage crisis in 1980. Since it’s based on a true story I’m not letting the cat out of the bag when I tell you there’s a scene at the...
View ArticleConflict on Aisle 3!
I first posted this blog two holiday seasons ago but I think it’s worth repeating. Remember to keep your cool no matter what others are doing and enjoy the season! Shopping during the holidays can be...
View ArticleHow did this become about me?!?
I haven’t seen it done in a while but in the past if a business wanted to draw attention to itself for a big event, it would bring in a huge spotlight that would illuminate the night sky and grab the...
View ArticleA few things I learned in 2012
Sometimes the inner conflicts I have can be more troublesome than the outright disagreements or problems I experience with others. The good news is, the older I get the quicker I’m able to resolve my...
View Article13 Ways to Reduce or Resolve Conflict in 2013
Okay, we’re almost a month into 2013 so I say this is the year you stop telling everyone you’re not very good at conflict or that you’re a conflict avoider. Actually, there’s no such thing as avoiding...
View ArticleDeath doesn’t become us
I’ve heard that a death in the family brings out the worst in us; and I now know that firsthand. My Dad passed away a few weeks ago and I have enough siblings, in-laws and outlaws in my tribe to cover...
View ArticleOh, I Forgot to Mention
Lies of omission are my least favorite lies. Not that I enjoy any type of lies or have a favorite; but there’s something about leaving out an important piece of information and then what happens...
View ArticleOn Spin Cycle
Here we go; round and round. That’s the sound of the all-too-familiar family whirlpool in which one person (usually the woman) asks that a chore get done and the other person (usually a man) seems...
View ArticleWhat’s the Harm in Hello?
My parents are both from small towns in the Midwest and raised me to exhibit that small town attitude even in the big city. One of the most basic ways they did that was by teaching me to greet anyone...
View ArticleA Better Way to Respond
Some days my inner voice does a great job calming me down and helping me act like an adult by giving me the right words to say. And then there are those days when the voice of reason sounds more like...
View Article3 Stupid Things Middle Managers Do
I help resolve all sorts of conflicts but the ones I get questioned about the most are the ones having to do with the workplace. Granted, most of the questions come in the form of hushed tones coupled...
View Article3 Conflict Strategies That Don’t Always Work
If you’ve ever had any kind of training in how to get along with others, you were probably taught some basic tactics to apply when attempting to resolve an issue. Most of the time, what you know...
View ArticleDon’t Make Up Just Yet
My significant other came home today and told me that his supervisor fired him and then hired him back about 30 minutes later. Unlike me, my guy has a job that requires heavy lifting, defending your...
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No, you don’t have to love your relatives
Here’s a question to “Ask Amy” at the Chicago Tribune that really hit home for me on both a professional and personal level. Since I am often asked the same question, I’ll share what I think is a...
View ArticleA Glass of Wine and the Truth
The family disputes I mediate can be heart-wrenching. They’re especially tough when I can see how much each parent wants to (needs to!) share with their children the truth as they see it; like when...
View ArticleMy Rollercoaster Ride
So, that happened. I haven’t written a blog in months, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced conflict, used my skills to resolve conflict, or shown my worst self during a conflict. Let me tell...
View ArticleTips for Working with Multiple Bosses
When companies consolidate departments or lay-off employees, the action often results in administrative support staff working with multiple bosses. Though the strategic goal is to save money, the act...
View ArticleFacebook Frustrations
When I first decided to join the social media bandwagon I thought it would be fun reconnecting with high school pals, friending relatives near and far, and generally creating what I thought would be an...
View ArticleHow to Get Sh*t Done in a Conflict
I probably could have found a much classier way to state the title of this blog entry but, quite frankly, it’s in response to people asking me how to cut through the crap and settle things. So, here...
View ArticleInspiration or Immunity?
Has anyone else noticed the so-called inspirational quotes flooding the social networking sites these days? Some of them actually do inspire me. Any quote by Maya Angelou is sure to be...
View ArticleStupid Nice Things Good People Say
Why is it that whenever someone shares disappointing or sad news with us our first inclination is to throw on a super-hero cape and deliver the perfect words that will make everything better? No...
View ArticleI’m Ready to Resolve! (and you’re not)
In my line of work we talk about the importance of process. People like to know that we’re following a process; we know that everyone needs time to process, and some say it’s all about the process....
View ArticleMe, Myself, and I
Who hasn’t seen the poster on a break room wall or heard the rally cry at a company meeting that shouts, “There’s no I in team!”? Yep, the quote is everywhere and even though I understand the...
View ArticleHow to Take a Vacation From Work Without Actually Leaving (or looking lazy)
I just got back from a holiday with my significant other and as I get ready to take a long weekend with family, I’m thinking about how fortunate I am this year to be taking so much time off. I realize...
View ArticleA Change is Comin’
This is just a quick thought for today. I’ve noticed a pattern during the private meeting portion of the mediations I manage. The intention of this one-on-one is to uncover what’s really at the heart...
View Article10 Things I’ve Learned From Being a Mediator
I’m lucky that I’ve had so much training and experience in mediating issues between others. It’s impossible to be a part of the mediation community and not learn a thing or two about oneself in the...
View ArticleWhen Your Boss Won’t Change
Who doesn’t have a list of things they’d like their manager to do differently? Everything from the way he slurps that first cup of coffee in the morning to how he plays his staff against one another...
View Article8 Habits of a Conflict Resolver
Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard someone say, “I don’t do conflict.” It’s the type of statement that can be mindboggling because, really, we all do conflict. Everything from two drivers each...
View ArticleThe Little Things in Our Relationship Won’t Ruin Us
A few months ago Yahoo Style published an item by Sloane Bradshaw that talked about how letting the little things go in her relationship ended her marriage. The headline caught my eye and, as I began...
View ArticleYes, it Does Matter What OthersThink of You
If you’re on the Internet at all, you’ve probably seen those quotes floating around social media that are supposed to give you strength, inspire you, or simply provide a chuckle here and there. Some...
View ArticleInvisibility: My New Super-Power
It has taken me a very long time to figure out the best way to deal with dramatic, toxic, and otherwise undesirable folks in my life. Here’s my evolution: For what seems like eons I was caught in the...
View ArticleI’m Telling on You, You Tattletale!
Every day I check the internet for news. I’m looking for real news—like the kind of stuff that steers the direction of the world or announces advances in science that will cure some awful condition I...
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